I knew this kid once in grade school. He was a nice, quiet kid. But man he just couldn’t get it together. The kind of kid whose shoes were always too long and laced too tightly and whose pants were too short and who would eat dirt and pick his nose. I imagine that’s how Brandon was growing up. On a farm, in Raymore Saskatchewan (Canada).
I met Brandon in University. He was president of this club for thinkers or something. I actually have no idea what the club was, but I would go hang out there occasionally to watch people think about stuff. Brandon was like their little thinking King. It was strange. But they had a sofa.
We bonded, as all good friends do, over drinks. I was fat at the time, and Brandon thought that was funny, and liked it when I ate a lot of food. Brandon wasn’t ever fat (that I can recall).
Years went by and Brandon put that brain of his to good use, earning a Master’s degree, then joining government, and eventually private enterprise. We skipped over each other a time or two in various cities throughout Canada; an occasional dinner here, a round of drinks there. Once Brandon visited me in Edmonton where our shenanigans reduced my then girlfriend to tears. Needless to say, Brandon is a handful. Actually, he’s an ass.
Fast Forward to about, oh, Christmas time 2014. I had signed up for my first half-ironman and was talking about learning to swim in preparation. As pints went down faster and faster I started telling Brandon that he should do the event with me. He resisted at first, but by the end of that night his response to me was the same I gave myself some weeks earlier: “You know what? Fuck it, I’m in”
Now Brandon was a sort of “athlete” back in Saskatchewan as a kid. He’ll go on and on telling you about his provincial championship “5 on 5” football team. He was the quarterback. I’m still not convinced that “5 on 5” is actually football, but he can fill you in. Through all the drinking and nerd thinking I had figured he’d lost this athletic ability. So in inviting him to join me I thought “great, someone else who will suck at this sport.”
Boy was I wrong.
Here comes stupid Brandon with nery a 10k under his belt in these offensively tight training tights (like, division sign offensive, you know ball/dick/ball) and he bloody well smoked me at everything. Now don’t get me wrong, Brandon puts in the work. And he deserves every bit of accolade that comes his way, because he damn well grinds for it. But crap was I a little defeated to see this putz with his dreadful run technique blow by me like the world’s fastest awkward antelope (which is pretty fast).
Going into our second training season, Brandon is already crushing it. Which means for those of you who want to see what real training numbers look like, follow his stats. He’ll motivate the hell out of you. He still runs like an awkward antelope though.
When he’s not dominating TrainerRoad or putting in a sub-50 minute zone 2 10k training run, Brandon enjoys Star Wars cartoons and listening to the latest Weekend album.
Follow Brandon @grindto140 and @brandonjholterman as we train our way to the elusive 140.6
GO TEAM UNICORN SPARKLE ADVENTURE.
Want to learn more about Brandon and his jump into IRONMAN 70.3 Victoria?